1. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

2. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

3. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

4. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

5. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

6. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

7. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

8. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

9. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

10. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Poll: What would be the outcome of a Tyler Rees and Chuck Norris brawl?
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